“Planned change is good. It is being the best, giving your best, and doing your best - on purpose.” - Darren L Johnson
As a woman, kids have always been something I’ve spoken and dreamt about having since the early days of high school.
“One day, when I have kids…” was a staple line amongst many a conversation. I remember gas-bagging at school about what our future husbands would look like, and in turn, how exotic our kids would turn out!
I never thought that ‘day’ would actually arrive though, and when I discovered I was pregnant, I couldn’t help but freak out a little, and look back on how quickly my 20’s had come and gone in the blink of an eye! I mean, heck, I’m 30 now!
So... if I’ve been prepared for this day since the beginning of time, why on earth am I so damn nervous? This is something I’ve been thinking about lately, particularly on my brisk afternoon walks.
While many first time mums may worry about the unwanted pregnancy weight gain, stretch marks, nausea, or fear of not being a state of the art parent, for me, it’s plain and simple… change. I’m anxious about change.
I’ve always been sceptical when it came to change! For starters, I was at the same private school from Kindy right up to year 12... definitely no change there. I cried for about a month after I moved out of my family home and into our 2 bedroom unit with Mark. Just to clarify, it was not because I had made the wrong decision in getting married, (as much as Mark thought it was lol) but because such an abrupt change in lifestyle really shook me up!
Then came the travelling. While I would have given up anything to hop on a plane and travel to a new destination, once there, I would always have ‘home’ at the back of my mind, and being back with my little kitties and in my own bed. Lame I know, but I couldn’t help it!
Don’t get me wrong, I love a good old adventure when the time is right, but for the most part, I love routine, stability and regularity. It’s been Mark and I for the past 12 years, trying every type of food and restaurant imaginable, wreaking havoc with friends, experiencing different chapters in each other's lives, and sharing numerous birthdays and anniversaries together, all while doing them at a steady and controlled pace. But what happens when the baby arrives?
This is something that scared me for so long, but I’ve come to realise that these are things we can still continue to do, but now as a family... a family of 3!
We can still visit those untouched destinations with the little one by our side (and maybe a little help from our parents, if they’d be up for a big ol’ family holiday).
We can still check out the new local restaurants and experiment with new food (the table will just be a little messier this time), and we can definitely still hang out with friends. This kid most definitely won’t fall short of any love, that’s for sure!
Now, as the due date approaches until our little darling is born, I couldn’t be more thrilled and excited! The due date can’t come quick enough, and I’m absolutely dying to know who this tiny tot will look like!